Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
