Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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