You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
How external is "for external use only"?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
