i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
