whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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