Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
