It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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