i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
