He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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