i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
