we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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