go do what you do best...puke behind churches
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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