I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
