i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
