I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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