I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
