i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
sarcasm needs its own font
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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