At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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