dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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