I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
