So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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