As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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