i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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