She went from zero to smokin in five shots
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
