Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
