he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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