is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
