I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
