Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
