So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize