In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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