I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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