everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize