this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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