at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
