He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i think im in europe. pls send help
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
