you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
