I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
