i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
