Your favorite bartender is back from prision
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
