i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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