i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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