But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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