i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
