doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
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