I need help removing her.
I didn't shave. On purpose
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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