sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
