would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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