he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
