I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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