can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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