Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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