no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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