Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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