do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
