That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
