Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
