apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
