forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
is it fun? or sober?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize