he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
