I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
