in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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