what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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