I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
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