Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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