I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
