man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize