glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
