My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
