You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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