In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I can text with my tongue
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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