Do you still have your period?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Naked Twister starts at high noon
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
