can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
