Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
