Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
