I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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